The Best Christmas Song to Have Sex To

 

Get your carrots out for Rudolph, it’s Christmas!

Kissing under a mistletoe, roasting chestnuts, pulling crackers.  Christmas may not be your first thought when thinking of sexy times, and research states that leading up to Christmas we are having very little sex at all!  We get it.  Christmas is a very busy time, and your in-laws’ imminent arrival might not be the best event to get you in the mood.  

With the knowledge that there is a huge decline in mistletoe kisses around Christmas, we have created the ultimate sexy Christmas playlist to cure your Winter loneliness and reignite those festive flames.  We have ranked popular Christmas songs in terms of beats per minute and lyrics to spice up your festive period, so hang up your stockings and prepare for someone to slide down your chimney, as you press play on The Naughty List.  

Armed with scientifically researched beats per minute, sexual and romantic keywords, and the five most popular Spotify Christmas playlists, we have created the ultimate festive playlist to stuff your turkey to. 

 

The Naughty List

Song Title

Artist

BPM

Keyword Score

Christmas Tree Farm

Taylor Swift

134

25

Christmas Time

Backstreet Boys

144

24

Love This Christmas

Rick Astley

154

24

Mistletoe

Justin Bieber

162

24

Blame it on the Mistletoe

Ella Henderson, AJ Mitchell

115

22

Cuddle Up, Cozy Down Christmas

Dolly Parton & Michael Buble

110

17

Baby, It's Cold Outside

Micheal Buble

113

15

Last Christmas

James TW

120

15

Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)

Mariah Carey

127

15

My Only Wish (This Year)

Britney Spears

147

15

Oh Santa

Kylie Minogue

118

4


Here is the ultimate festive sex playlist.  The average intercourse lasts around 33 minutes, which is reflected in the playtime of our playlist, with the BPMs falling between 110 and 170.  We also counted the amount of sexual or romantic keywords in the lyrics of the songs.  

Read on to see how we went about building this playlist.


The Best BPM to Bonk To 

Song Title

Artist

BPM

Oh Santa

Kylie Minogue

118

Jingle Bell Rock

Bobby Helms

120

Last Christmas

James TW

120

You and Me and Christmastime

Sheffield

120

It's Not Christmas Till Somebody Cries

Carly Rae Jepsen

120

Mary's Boy Child

Matt Monro

122

Santa Claus is Coming to Town

Michael Buble

122

Zat You, Santa Claus

Louis Armstrong

123

Jingle Bells (feat. The Puppini Sisters)

Michael Buble

123

When a Child is Born

Johnny Mathis

124

Little Drummer Boy

Kenny Rodgers

124

Walking in the Snow

Brynn Elliot

124

Wrapped in Red

Kelly Clarkson

124

It's Christmas

Jamie Cullum

124

Christmas Eve

Kelly Clarkson

126

Never do a Tango with an Eskimo

Alma Cogan

127

Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)

Mariah Carey

127

All You're Dreaming Of

Liam Gallagher

128

Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)

Pentatonix

128

Finally, It's Christmas

Hanson

129

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

The Jackson Five

129

Merry Xmas Everybody

Slade

130

Let it Snow!

Michael Buble

130

All I want for Christmas (Is My Two Front Teeth)

Nat King Cole

130

Christmas Lights

Coldplay

131

Little Saint Nick

The Beach Boys

131

The Lighthouse Keeper

Sam Smith

131

Christmas Prayer

Paloma Faith, Gregory Porter

131

Christmas Tree Farm

Taylor Swift

134

Mistletoe & Wine

Cliff Richard

135

Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer

Dean Martin

136

At Christmas

Kylie Minogue

137

Cozy Little Christmas

Katy Perry

137

I wish it could be Christmas Everyday

Wizzard

140

Step into Christmas

Elton John

140

Christmas Isn't Cancelled

Kelly Clarkson

140

All I Want (For Christmas)

Liam Payne

140

Man With The Bag

Jessie J

141

(There's No Place Like) Home for the Holidays

Perry Komo

144

Frosty the Snowman

The Ronettes

144

Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree

Mel & Kim

144

Christmas Time

Backstreet Boys

144

Santa, Can't You Hear Me

Kelly Clarkson, Ariana Grande

146

Happy Xmas (War is Over)

John Lennon, Yoko Ono

146

Like it's Christmas

Jonas Brothers

146

My Only Wish (This Year)

Britney Spears

147

Feliz Navidad

Jose Feliciano

149

Cool Yule

Louis Armstrong

149

All I Want for Christmas is You

Mariah Carey

150

Holly Jolly Christmas

Michael Buble

151

Run Rudoph Run

Chuck Berry

152

Love This Christmas

Rick Astley

154

A Marshmallow World

Darlene Love

155

Saviour's Day

Cliff Richard

155

Sleigh Ride

Ella Fitzgerald

155

Underneath the Tree

Kelly Clarkson

160

Here Comes Santa Claus

Bob B Soxx & The Blue Jeans

163

Mistletoe

Justin Bieber

162

The Christmas Song

Michael Buble

164


Generally, the optimum beats per minute to hang your baubles up to starts at 110.  A study from Harvard showed that beats per minute should not exceed 170, so we have included Christmas songs in this threshold.  

The likes of legendary Louis Armstrong, Mariah Carey, and Ella Fitzgerald feature in this selection of songs, as well as some of the artists we turn to for our fix of cheesy music.  Sprinkled amongst the more unusual or less common festive songs are also some absolute bangers like Jingle Bell Rock and Do They Know It’s Christmas.  

You are guaranteed a good time with this playlist, but that’s not all... 

Suggestive Lyrics in Christmas Music

We created a list of romantic or sexual buzzwords and counted their appearances in the lyrics of these songs.  The words we counted were: 

  • love
  • kiss
  • hug
  • hold
  • mistletoe
  • babe
  • baby
  • darling
  • sexy
  • beautiful
  • heart
  • share
  • together

Here is what we found!

Song Title

Artist

Keyword Score

Christmas Tree Farm

Taylor Swift

25

Christmas Time

Backstreet Boys

24

Love This Christmas

Rick Astley

24

Mistletoe

Justin Bieber

24

Blame it on the Mistletoe

Ella Henderson, AJ Mitchell

22

Cuddle Up, Cozy Down Christmas

Dolly Parton & Michael Buble

17

Baby, It's Cold Outside

Micheal Buble

15

Last Christmas

James TW

15

Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)

Mariah Carey

15

My Only Wish (This Year)

Britney Spears

15

All I Want for Christmas is You

Mariah Carey

15

One More Sleep

Leona Lewis

14

All You're Dreaming Of

Liam Gallagher

14

Sleigh Ride

Ella Fitzgerald

12

Underneath the Tree

Kelly Clarkson

11

Cozy Little Christmas

Katy Perry

10

All I Want (For Christmas)

Liam Payne

10

Santa, Can't You Hear Me

Kelly Clarkson, Ariana Grande

10

I've Got My Love To Keep Me Warm

Ella Fitzgerald

9

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

The Jackson Five

9

Christmas Prayer

Paloma Faith, Gregory Porter

9

Mistletoe & Wine

Cliff Richard

9

(There's No Place Like) Home for the Holidays

Perry Komo

9

Christmas Eve

Kelly Clarkson

8

The Lighthouse Keeper

Sam Smith

8

Christmas Without You

Ava Max

7

Walking in the Snow

Brynn Elliot

7

Let it Snow!

Michael Buble

7

Grown Up Christmas List

Jordan Smith

6

At Christmas

Kylie Minogue

6

Christmas Isn't Cancelled

Kelly Clarkson

6

White Christmas

George Ezra

5

Step into Christmas

Elton John

5

Presents for Christmas

Soloman Burke

4

Oh Santa

Kylie Minogue

4

Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)

Pentatonix

4

Holly Jolly Christmas

Michael Buble

4

Winter Wonderland

Tony Bennett

3

You and Me and Christmastime

Sheffield

3

Christmas Lights

Coldplay

3

Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree

Mel & Kim

3

Like it's Christmas

Jonas Brothers

3

I Believe in Father Christmas

Keith Emerson

2

Wrapped in Red

Kelly Clarkson

2

Finally, It's Christmas

Hanson

2

Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer

Dean Martin

2

Frosty the Snowman

The Ronettes

2

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas

Perry Como, The Fontane Sisters

1

Here (for Christmas)

Lukas Graham

1

Christmas Wrapping

The Waitresses

1

It's Not Christmas Till Somebody Cries

Carly Rae Jepsen

1

When a Child is Born

Johnny Mathis

1

Never do a Tango with an Eskimo

Alma Cogan

1

I wish it could be Christmas Everyday

Wizzard

1

Here Comes Santa Claus

Bob B Soxx & The Blue Jeans

1

The Christmas Song

Michael Buble

1

 

The songs which scored the highest for their lyrical content are Christmas Tree Farm with 25, Mistletoe, Love this Christmas, and Christmas Time with 24, and Blame it on the Mistletoe at 22.

You’re trying to make Christmas a more sexy time, but we all know it can also can be a stressful time.  Social calendars are filling up, family members are coming to stay, and you still have presents left to buy, but this shouldn’t stop you from getting your bells jingled.  Pop our playlist on and get festive.

The Complete, Sexy Christmas Playlist

So, take the most popular BPM to have sex to and some suggestive lyrics, and you have a 76 song playlist to enjoy!

Let’s dive into how sexy these songs actually are, and look into whether they can help you rock around the Christmas tree.

Song Title

Artist

Keyword Score

Christmas Tree Farm

Taylor Swift

25

Christmas Time

Backstreet Boys

24

Love This Christmas

Rick Astley

24

Mistletoe

Justin Bieber

24

Blame it on the Mistletoe

Ella Henderson, AJ Mitchell

22

Cuddle Up, Cozy Down Christmas

Dolly Parton & Michael Buble

17

Baby, It's Cold Outside

Micheal Buble

15

Last Christmas

James TW

15

Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)

Mariah Carey

15

My Only Wish (This Year)

Britney Spears

15

All I Want for Christmas is You

Mariah Carey

15

One More Sleep

Leona Lewis

14

All You're Dreaming Of

Liam Gallagher

14

Sleigh Ride

Ella Fitzgerald

12

Underneath the Tree

Kelly Clarkson

11

Cozy Little Christmas

Katy Perry

10

All I Want (For Christmas)

Liam Payne

10

Santa, Can't You Hear Me

Kelly Clarkson, Ariana Grande

10

I've Got My Love To Keep Me Warm

Ella Fitzgerald

9

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

The Jackson Five

9

Christmas Prayer

Paloma Faith, Gregory Porter

9

Mistletoe & Wine

Cliff Richard

9

(There's No Place Like) Home for the Holidays

Perry Komo

9

Christmas Eve

Kelly Clarkson

8

The Lighthouse Keeper

Sam Smith

8

Christmas Without You

Ava Max

7

Walking in the Snow

Brynn Elliot

7

Let it Snow!

Michael Buble

7

Grown Up Christmas List

Jordan Smith

6

At Christmas

Kylie Minogue

6

Christmas Isn't Cancelled

Kelly Clarkson

6

White Christmas

George Ezra

5

Step into Christmas

Elton John

5

Presents for Christmas

Soloman Burke

4

Oh Santa

Kylie Minogue

4

Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)

Pentatonix

4

Holly Jolly Christmas

Michael Buble

4

Winter Wonderland

Tony Bennett

3

You and Me and Christmastime

Sheffield

3

Christmas Lights

Coldplay

3

Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree

Mel & Kim

3

Like it's Christmas

Jonas Brothers

3

I Believe in Father Christmas

Keith Emerson

2

Wrapped in Red

Kelly Clarkson

2

Finally, It's Christmas

Hanson

2

Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer

Dean Martin

2

Frosty the Snowman

The Ronettes

2

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas

Perry Como, The Fontane Sisters

1

Here (for Christmas)

Lukas Graham

1

Christmas Wrapping

The Waitresses

1

It's Not Christmas Till Somebody Cries

Carly Rae Jepsen

1

When a Child is Born

Johnny Mathis

1

Never do a Tango with an Eskimo

Alma Cogan

1

I wish it could be Christmas Everyday

Wizzard

1

Here Comes Santa Claus

Bob B Soxx & The Blue Jeans

1

The Christmas Song

Michael Buble

1


All of these songs are within the BPM bracket which has been proven to be optimal for “festivities”, and the vast majority of them include sexual lyrics.  A grown up playlist for grown up activities.  Not every song is necessarily lyrically appropriate, but a playlist would be boring if it was all the same vibe!  The playlist is here for any of your holiday needs, whether you are dancing around the kitchen or rockin’ around the Christmas tree.   

It’s also a great playlist for alternative Christmas music!  Yes, there are some more common songs on this playlist but they are sprinkled amongst some less common and more unusual Christmas songs.  Learn some different music and have a jolly time this festive season.  

There is the ultimate sexy Christmas playlist in terms of BPM and lyrical content.  Some songs are, of course, more appropriate for the bedroom than others, but as long as you have fun that’s all that really matters!  

You can access our full, 36 minute playlist here:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0fy7hhJSKCabaD4uH4LB7X?si=Iz6zCzYZR_C91UZH1v61fA&utm_source=copy-link

We hope we have been able to help you with your holiday shenanigans.  


Merry Christmas!